


The Sackler Brain

by ladyofreylo



Series: Sackler [1]
Category: Girls (TV), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: ADHD, Adam Driver - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asperger Syndrome, Attempt at Humor, Autism Spectrum, F/M, Falling In Love, Famous actor, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Happily Ever After, Happy Ending, Humor, I love adam sackler, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Love Story, Neurodiversity, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), POV Rey (Star Wars), Poetry, Rey - Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Sex, Smut, adam sackler as famous actor, bensolo - Freeform, brain differences, kyloren - Freeform, positive neurodiversity, team different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofreylo/pseuds/ladyofreylo
Summary: Adam jumped up.  “I’m not that.  I’m not.  I am neurotypical.”  He walked to the door and looked outside. “Where are they?”  He opened the door, then shut it again.  He slapped the glass and jiggled the handle.  Then he shook his hand up and down quickly as he walked back to the chair...Adam collapsed in a chair and put his head down into his hands.  He rubbed his face and rocked slightly.  Rey had seen this behavior before in neurodiverse people when they got overwhelmed or anxious.  Adam was having a panic attack.Rey moved closer to him.  Maybe she could help calm him using techniques she used with her brother.First, connection.  Slow and steady.  Second, no stimulation.  Keep it quiet, keep it small.  Third, remember, he can’t hear you right now, she said to herself.  He’s dissociating.  He’s protecting himself.  He needs to be grounded.  Many neurodiverse people had grounding plans, but if Adam considered himself neurotypical, he likely had nothing in place to help him.
Relationships: Rey (Star Wars)/Adam Sackler, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Sackler [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741783
Comments: 41
Kudos: 89
Collections: ReylOlds





	The Sackler Brain

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone. This is a fic about neurodiversity. I once heard someone say that Adam Sackler looked like he was stimming, which is what we neuordiverse people do to calm ourselves down. The more I watched, the more I wondered. I have ADHD (without the H) and some other stuff; my son has ADHD and is bipolar. We celebrate our brain diversity by calling ourselves Team Different and recognizing diversity as a gift. I took Adam on this journey with Rey in which he discovers what it means to be a creative person with a different (not disabled or disordered) brain. Love to all Team Different peoples everywhere.

Dirk Waters was picking on a guest again. Rey snatched her headphones off and signaled Freddie Washington in the booth. Freddie shook his head.

It wasn’t just the interview itself. Dirk often made fun of guests—most guests were good sports and handled it fine. Sometimes Dirk asked pointed questions, sometimes he made jokes at a guest’s expense, laughing about something they did not want to discuss on the air. It wasn’t nice but it kept listeners interested. 

This time, with this particular guest, Dirk probed a very sore spot. It was the one thing that was strictly off limits. And Dirk was going to do it.

Rey walked out. She couldn’t watch. Shit, she might lose her internship on the show, but she didn’t care. It was awful.

***

Adam Sackler was a rising star in Hollywood. He’d starred in the biggest franchise films that Disney offered, the StarGalatic saga. He had been chosen to play Kylo Ren, the brooding supreme leader of Skykiller, without so much as an audition. Adam also starred in two other films that just debuted in the last two months, and he was currently in the middle of intense press tours for all three movies.

Adam looked tired when he came into the little podcast studio. He was scowling and seemed very stressed out about being there. He was quite tall, intimidating in height and size but exuded an incredible amount of nervous energy. He walked in quickly by himself, his assistant struggling to keep up. She talked to him for a moment and then left. 

“Would you like some coffee?” Rey asked. He turned around so quickly at the sound of her voice, she thought he might spin.

“Yeeeessss, yes.” He stared around the room and then let his eyes settle on her. “What? Oh, coffee. Yes. I would. You know, like some. Thanks, doll.”

Rey brought him some coffee, though she thought maybe he had drunk too much already. He was making a fist at his side, over and over, banging it against his leg. Then he twisted his fingers together. He took the Styrofoam cup from Rey’s small hands in his huge ones. They made the cup look tiny. He pursed his full lips to take a small sip.

“Is it okay?” Rey asked.

“It’s good.” He took another sip and made a face. “Or, well, it’s okay, thanks, thanks.” He had finally taken a seat in a chair that was too small for him. He crossed one foot over the other, then back, and shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

Rey watched Adam closely to see if he wanted anything else. He seemed to settle in with his phone, so she left him in the green room.

He would go on the air for the podcast interview soon.

The Dirk Waters show was very popular with a young crowd. A lot of dudebros who were into the StarGalatic saga listened and laughed at Dirk’s antics. Adam’s interview would draw a huge, nationwide crowd of listeners.

Rey overheard Dirk talking about the interview questions after she got Adam settled.

“So, we can’t ask him to listen to the song he sang in _Weddings_?” Dirk’s voice rose. “Why not? We’re going to play a snip. What’s he going to do?”

“He can turn off his headphones,” Freddie offered.

“God save me from divas.” Dirk rolled his eyes, perusing the printed list of interview questions. “What’s the problem?”

Rey spoke up. “Adam Sackler doesn’t watch himself in his own films. It messes up his process.” She’d read that about him in preparation for the podcast.

“This isn’t a movie.” Dirk slapped the interview questions down on the desk. “This is just him singing. We can’t show a clip of the movie on this podcast. All we have are sounds. Jesus, what is wrong with this guy?”

Dirk rolled his chair to the doorway and peeked out around the corner to the green room. He acted like he could see through the closed door. He snorted.

“Well, we will just have to see what happens,” Dirk said.

Rey had a bad feeling that Dirk was going to do something stupid on the air.

She went back to the green room and sat with Adam before the podcast while he finished his coffee. She explained what they were about to record and how it would be done. Though some guests were pros at podcasts and interviews, Rey felt it was important to provide reminders. It helped calm any nerves and set the tone for the interview.

Looking at Adam Sackler, she thought he might be one of those nervous types.

He was acting a lot like her brother, Pat, when he got nervous. Pat was neurodiverse, like many other artists. People with neurodiverse brains processed information differently, thought differently, and showed certain behavioral patterns. Neurodiverse people were incredibly creative and intelligent, but they often perceived the world in unexpected ways. Sometimes those perceptions and the input they received caused anxiety as they navigated a society meant for typical thinkers.

Rey wondered about Adam. Although many neurotypical people had come to accept neurodiversity among artists, poets, and musicians, it wasn’t widely accepted in acting. Actors were still supposed to be neurotypical and able to articulate their thoughts about their roles. Directors and writers too were supposed to discuss their visions in coherent and focused ways. Anyone who couldn’t was still considered odd.

Rey’s brother Pat wrote poetry, gorgeous words, but he was shy and reserved and rarely could talk about, much less share, what he had written. Rey didn’t think anything of it. He was her brother. He’d been like that all her life. She’d often seen him glaze over when confronted with something that was too much or too hard to process. He would make random movements to calm himself—sometimes he fogged out completely.

Rey knocked briefly on the green room door. She heard Adam’s deep voice call her in.

“Mr. Sackler,” she said, softly, “We are ready.”

He stared at her for a minute. Commentators on the Internet said Adam had the best resting bitch face because he paused and stared without expression. Rey could see why.

“You can call me Adam,” he said. He held Rey’s gaze, then ran a hand through his thick dark hair. It was long and looked impossibly soft to Rey. She swallowed. When he stood up, she realized yet again just how tall and big he was. She’d noted it briefly when she’d brought him to the green room, but then he’d sat down, and she’d forgotten.

Now, he stood in front of her like a giant tree, thick in the chest and legs, long arms, giant hands and feet. Rey felt tiny in comparison. She ran her hand through her hair just to have something to do while she gathered her wits.

She heard herself say “Um.” Then she licked her lips.

Adam watched her for a second with interest, then looked into her eyes. “I’m ready,” he reminded her. He cleared his throat. It was almost a growl. Perhaps another sign of nerves.

“Yes,” she said, feeling a bit stupid for gawking at him. He wasn’t classically handsome but there was something about his face that was incredibly compelling. Maybe it was his intelligent whiskey-brown eyes or his lush lips that he pressed together before speaking. Whatever it was, Rey had a hard time tearing her gaze away from him.

Rey ushered Adam into the room with Dirk. They shook hands and Dirk offered Adam a seat. 

The interview started well enough, with Dirk sticking to the prescribed questions. Adam listened intently. He did well with straightforward questions, like how long a movie took to film, how crazy his schedule was, or locations. Once Dirk ventured into more psychological meanderings, such as character motivation or how a scene related to Adam’s own life, Adam’s nervous energy increased. Rey noted that Adam got lost in some of the answers. He couched his responses in so many qualifiers and pauses that they almost didn’t make sense. Then he would shake his head and laugh and ask to be reminded of the question.

Rey had watched enough interviews and panels to prepare for this program that she recognized the series of canned answers that Adam repeated with minor variations. He told one story about how filmmaking was like carpentry, since he had been a carpenter before he was an actor. He told another story about how certain directors liked to rehearse first and others shot multiple takes without any rehearsal. Rey had heard both of those stories in every interview she had watched. She knew Adam planned the questions and answers ahead of time. That wasn’t unusual, though. Many guests who interviewed with Dirk worked from scripts. The issue was that Dirk liked to mess with the scripts and try to catch interviewees off guard. Rey suspected that Adam Sackler would not appreciate this tactic. She didn’t know if he could roll with it and blow Dirk off lightly with humor. Or if Adam would react defensively or angrily. Dirk was pleased with any reaction, and since they were not live, Freddie could always edit.

As Dirk continued to talk, Adam played with the bottle of water Rey had given him. He twisted and twirled it. She thought he might try to flip it like Pat did sometimes.

Dirk asked about Adam’s upbringing. Adam literally flinched. He knocked the bottle over and the cap flew off. Water cascaded all over Adam’s cell phone.

He jumped up, yelling curse words.

“Rey, get the fuck in here,” Dirk said.

She ran to the kitchen to grab paper towels. She mopped up while Dirk was telling Adam to put his phone in a bowl of rice to dry it out.

“Good as new, man,” Dirk said.

Adam’s face was set in hard lines. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said, gritting his teeth. He slammed the phone on the table and the screen cracked into a spiderweb.

Rey looked up to see Dirk’s predatory smirk. He was thrilled that his guest was rattled. He was going to play that fucking clip of Adam singing, which Adam had asked him not to do. 

And she’d bet that he wasn’t going to tell Adam ahead of time.

Adam tried to calm down. He plopped back down into his chair with a soft groan. Then he put his headphones back on over his thick dark hair. Most people looked stupid with the headphones on, but Adam looked like he belonged in a band or like a sexy DJ. Rey gaped for a second, then remembered to shove the wet paper towel into the trash. She wanted to warn Adam somehow but didn’t know what to say.

They made eye contact. Rey gave Adam an encouraging, and maybe a bit apologetic, smile. He tried a small smile, then looked away. She wondered if he was embarrassed by spilling his water. Rey slipped back into the kitchen and got him a fresh bottle.

She set it down and smiled at Adam again. He gazed at her, his light brown, almost hazel eyes gleaming in the light streaming through the windows. He permitted himself another small quirk of those full lips. Rey suddenly thought about kissing him.

But instead she left to put on her own headphones to listen in on the podcast.

Without warning, Dirk Waters struck like the asshole snake he was. He nodded at Freddie, who pressed the button. A lovely rich baritone voice filtered in through Rey’s headphones. Shit. They had done it. They had made Adam listen to himself singing.

She signaled Freddie and tore off her headphones. He shook his head. He wasn’t going to turn it off.

Rey walked out. She couldn’t watch the dawning horror in Adam’s eyes and whatever was bound to happen next. She just couldn’t.

***

Rey walked out into the foyer. The studio was housed in an old office building with multiple floors, an old elevator, and a small grouping of chairs near a sign listing all the tenants and their office numbers. She sat in one of the chairs with her head in her hands.

Not more than ten seconds after she sat down, Adam Sackler barreled out of the studio and slammed the door behind him. He was livid. He was trying to get his phone to do something.

“Siri!” he hollered. “What the fuck? Fucking Siri, I fucking need you. Fuck.”

He spotted Rey and they stared at each other. She got up and walked over to him.

“Did you know?” he shouted. “Did you fucking know?”

Rey pursed her lips a little. “No,” she said. It was a lie, but she didn’t think she could face the anger of this giant, seething man. And she would lose her internship for sure if she told Adam the truth.

He groaned and plopped himself down on a chair. He put his head in his hands and growled. “Fuck me, fuck this. Fuck it forever.”

Rey sat next to him. “Can I help you?”

He raised his eyes to hers. His hair was sticking up a little. She resisted the urge to smooth it.

“Only if you can call my assistant or my driver.” He held up his spiderwebbed phone. “It doesn’t work.”

“I can call anyone you like.” Rey fished her own phone out of her pants pocket. “What’s the number?”

Adam stared at the floor. He closed his eyes. “Nope,” he said. “They had to change them again. I don’t remember.”

“You can see them in your mind?” Rey asked.

Adam didn’t say a word. He looked around the foyer. Then he gave a short nod.

“Most neurodiverse people can.” Rey said.

Adam jumped up. “I’m not that. I’m not. I am neurotypical.” He walked to the door and looked outside. “Where are they?” He opened the door, then shut it again. He slapped the glass and jiggled the handle. Then he shook his hand up and down quickly as he walked back to the chair.

He growled long and low as he sat down. “Shit. Will they come out here to bother me?”

“Dirk and Freddie?”

“I guess, if that’s their names.”

Rey shook her head. “Doubt it. They’ve got all they need for the podcast.”

“Why’d you leave, doll? Don’t have a taste for making guests fucking squirm? Fuck those guys.”

“No. And it’s Dirk. Freddie just goes along with it.”

“What was the point of making me listen to my own fucking singing? Lily told them not to do it. I told them I didn’t want to do it, that it was off-limits. Now I’m out here with no phone. This is fucked. You didn’t know?”

“Sometimes Dirk does shit, but I never know if he will or not. He will run the podcast, though, if you don’t stop him.”

“I’ll go back and knock his fucking lights out. Fucking asshole. He better not run it.”

“I think you signed something,” Rey said.

“Where the fuck are my people?” Adam asked, suddenly.

Rey jumped a little at the intensity in his voice. He went to the door again.

“I’m fucking ready to walk out of here.” He yanked at the door handle again. He smacked one hand against the door in frustration. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up more, and stalked back over to the seating area.

Adam collapsed in a chair and put his head down into his hands. He rubbed his face and rocked slightly. Rey had seen this behavior before in neurodiverse people when they got overwhelmed or anxious. Adam was having a panic attack.

Rey moved closer to him. Maybe she could help calm him using techniques she used with her brother.

First, connection. Slow and steady. Second, no stimulation. Keep it quiet, keep it small. Third, remember, he can’t hear you right now, she said to herself. He’s dissociating. He’s protecting himself. He needs to be grounded. Many neurodiverse people had grounding plans, but if Adam considered himself neurotypical, he likely had nothing in place to help him.

Rey sat on the floor and scooted her bottom toward Adam’s huge feet. She didn’t touch him just yet. She let him feel her presence even if he wasn’t quite aware of it.

He had his face in his hands, fingers over his eyes.

Connection. She touched the chair first, slowly, crawling her fingers up toward him but still not touching. Adam felt Rey’s slow movement and dropped his hands to look down at her. He seemed to come back to himself. He was sweating a bit. He looked away across the room for a minute. Then he looked back at Rey, still seated at his feet.

“Why are you down there?” he asked.

“Making sure you are okay,” Rey replied. She reached out and touched his hand lightly.

He clasped hers. Connection.

Quiet. Neither said a word. Rey took deep breaths, in and out, watching Adam. He gazed back at her. He began to breathe more slowly, as if picking up Rey’s rhythm.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said, finally. “I …” He stopped.

“No need,” Rey said. “Breathe.”

They took more breaths together.

“I’m fine now,” Adam said. “I think.”

“All right.” Rey stood up with Adam’s help. She let go of his hand and sat nearby.

“Where’d you learn to help with panic attacks?” he asked. “I get them sometimes.” He stopped talking. “No one’s supposed to know that about me.”

“It’s all right. My brother has them.” Rey bit her lip. She didn’t want to tell Adam that her brother was neurodiverse. She was ninety-nine percent sure that Adam was, too. But he hadn’t liked it when she’d said it before. 

Instead, Rey said, “I can drive you somewhere. I have my car.”

“Fuck it, let’s go,” Adam said. He jumped up.

Rey hesitated. 

“What? What?” Adam barked at her.

“I left my keys and shit in there,” she said, walking to the door of the studio. It was locked. She knocked.

“I’m going to beat the fuck out of whoever answers,” Adam said behind her. She felt his energy and heat ramping up.

She turned. “Don’t. They will broadcast the story on their next cast and put it all over the Internet. ‘Adam Sackler goes nuts on the Dirk Waters show.’ Don’t do it, Adam.”

Freddie opened the door a crack. “What?” His eyes flicked between Adam and Rey.

Adam jumped at him with a loud growl and Freddie slammed the door.

Rey yelled at Adam. “I need to get my stuff. Stop.” It was the voice she used on Pat sometimes when he was being particularly stubborn.

She sucked in a breath. She had just yelled at the most famous person she’d ever met. She’d shouted at him like he was her brother.

Adam’s eyes lit up and he busted out laughing. “What’s your name, doll?” His grin didn’t fade a bit.

“Rey,” she said. “You need to stop being intimidating. I need to get my bag.”

“Then can you yell at me some more?” Adam seemed delighted by the prospect.

“Sure,” Rey said. “Fine.”

She knocked and pushed through the door when Freddie opened it a crack again.

Rey looked back to see that Adam had wandered over to a potted plant to poke at the dirt and play with his fucked-up phone. “Shit,” he mumbled.

Dirk didn’t look up from stirring his coffee in the break room. “You’re fired,” he said to Rey as she grabbed her bag.

“Okay.” She shrugged. “I wasn’t really hired in the first place, but okay.”

She stood in the doorway for a second. “Dirk, you shouldn’t run that podcast.”

He still didn’t turn around. “Why ever not?”

“Adam Sackler will sue you for breach of contract.”

“Sackler walked out on us,” Dirk said, finally turning to look at Rey. “I’ll fucking sue that asshole.”

“He’s got a lot more money than you do. He will win. Don’t do it. Adam Sackler will ruin your career.”

“I will be glad to return the favor.” Dirk swept by Rey. “Get the fuck out.”

***

When Rey walked out of the studio, she saw Adam standing at the door to the outside, still jiggling his broken phone.

“Hey, hi there, pretty Rey,” he said. “Rey what?” He had obviously regained his equilibrium.

“Jackson,” she said, walking up to him. “Ready?”

“No, but yeah, shit, I’m always ready for a pretty girl.” Adam pointed outside.

His assistant, presumably Lily, stood outside the door talking on the phone. A black SUV had pulled up in front of the door in the no-parking spot and a burly man stood by the back door with hands clasped in front of him. He surveyed the street.

“Oh,” Rey said. “I guess you don’t need me, then.”

“Yes, I do.” Adam bent down and captured her mouth. She was taken aback but didn’t stop him. His mustache tickled her face. His lips were soft and plush, and when he pulled away gently, they lingered against hers for a second. The kiss made Rey shiver.

“Hmm,” she said, a little glazed. “Uh.”

Adam smiled and gazed at Rey fondly. “Thanks, doll, for taking care of a creep like me.”

“You don’t seem like a creep to me,” Rey said.

“I am, though. I am the creepiest creep to ever creep. I will creep you and creep up on you. I will be your creep.”

Rey had to laugh. He sounded like her brother when he got rolling with a word. Pat would wear a word out to entertain Rey. When they were little, it drove her nuts. Now, she enjoyed the creative word play.

“You sound like my brother,” Rey said.

“Is he a creep, too?” Adam asked.

“No,” Rey replied. “I love him very much. He makes me laugh. You talk like him.”

“He talks like me,” Adam stated firmly. “Well, I have to go now. I’m not supposed to be here anymore since this is a fucking mess. I want to see you again.”

Rey smiled at him. “You are so sweet. But I kind of am seeing someone.” Rey always said that to any guest who wanted to ask her out.

Adam pondered that. “Is it serious?”

Rey was at a loss. Most guests accepted her boyfriend story. Clearly, Adam was different.

Lily poked her head in. “Mr. Sackler, we really have to go soon. We can’t stay on these premises.”

Adam gave Lily a hard look. She withdrew from the door. “Fuck.”

“I have to go too,” Rey said.

“If it’s not serious, dump him and go out with me,” Adam said. 

“Uh, maybe,” Rey said. “But you have a lot going on right now, so…”

“I am smitten, my kitten. Let’s do this. Come on, give Lily your number. I will call when I get another phone tomorrow.” Adam bent down, holding his arms out to his sides. He got in Rey’s face to look in her eyes. Then he slowly enveloped her in his long arms. “Come on, Rey,” he whispered in her ear. “You know you want to. We can talk and kiss and have fun. We could fuck. Let’s do it, Rey; I know I can make you come.”

Rey blushed pink and pushed Adam away. “Adam Sackler, really. You’re saying that like you know me. But you don’t. Don’t use your fame to pester me with sexual innuendos.”

“Aw, who’s going to stop me?”

Rey sighed and put her hands on her hips. “No one, you great big goof. No one has the guts to tell you to shut it. Except me. I do. Stop it.”

Again, Adam looked pleased as hell by that remark. He tipped his head back, shook out his hair, and laughed. “Give me your number, doll. You can tell me to shut up all you want.”

They stared at each other for a couple of beats. Rey didn’t want to reward Adam’s brash, forward, alpha asshole behavior. She should walk away—or better, smack the shit out of him. Then he grinned at her and winked, just a little tiny wink. Audacious devil. His laugh was throaty and fully infectious. Rey had to smile at him.

“You know you want to,” he said, in a sing-songy voice. “You do!”

“All right.” Rey gave up. She really wanted to see Adam Sackler and his charming-ass self again. She was a sucker. She’d have to smack him later.

Rey gave Lily her number while Adam stood behind her and leaned over her shoulder. The man was all about getting in Rey’s personal space. She could feel his actual body heat even when he wasn’t touching her.

He loomed over her back like a huge beast and rumbled in her ear. Rey knew he was watching Lily type in the phone number. Like many neurodiverse people, he remembered things that were important to him.

Rey turned to say something, but Adam was gazing at her with a full-on, almost scary intensity. Rey caught her breath.

“I’ll call you, doll,” he said and stood straight.

“Mr. Sackler.” The bodyguard opened the car door. Lily nudged Adam along. He waved one hand at Rey and hopped into the car.

***

The next day, Rey found a voicemail on her account. It said Private Caller. Often, those sales call messages lasted only a couple of seconds before a hang-up. This one was longer. She played it.

“Hey, hey, hi, well, hello there. I’m, well, you know. I’m Adam. This is Adam. Uh, Adam Sackler. Is this Rey? Shit, I shouldn’t have said my full name. If it’s not Rey Jackson, delete this message. I’m not really Adam Sackler, you know, that one. I’m just a guy with the same name as that guy from the movies. So, delete, delete. Now.” There was a pause. Rey thought the message had stopped. But Adam’s voice came back on. He whispered. “All right, Rey, this really me, the Adam Sackler from yesterday at the studio. I want to take you out. Get rid of your boyfriend and go out with me. Call me back. I’m texting you my phone number. Lily will kill me, but I want you to call me instead of my calling you again. Just in case you don’t want to. But I want to see you again.” He groaned a little. “This message is way too long, Adam. God, you’re an idiot.” He hung up.

Rey could barely stop laughing. He was fucking adorable. She checked her text messages. There was a message that came through as a video. She opened it and waited for the download. Suddenly, Adam’s face was all up in the camera, his nose looking longer than it was. His eyes were staring into the camera and his lips were moving. She restarted the video and turned on the sound.

“Hi, again. I decided to record something and see how my new phone works. Oh, I hope this is Rey’s phone. Shit. Fuck. I will text you my number. Call me after you ditch that other guy.” He moved the camera up really close to his eyes and opened them wide. Then he blinked at her and smiled a ridiculous smile, eyes wide open. The video stopped with him looking crazy and wide-eyed. Rey sat down and laughed so hard she cried. She checked the messages and saw Adam’s personal phone number.

She couldn’t call him fast enough.

Adam answered in a deep serious voice. “Helllllooooo,” he said. “Rey Jackson? Did I text the right number? Or are you a random person who will sell my shit on the Internet?”

Rey fought for enough control to speak. “Adam Sackler, no one, and I mean no one, wants to buy your shit.” She laughed again, wiping her eyes.

“Ah, you never know. I feel like that might be a good business venture should the acting roles stop coming my way.” He breathed heavily into the phone for a moment.

“Adam?” Rey asked.

“Yes, doll?”

“What are you doing?” Rey wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she asked before she could close her mouth around the question.

He laughed and blew out a long breath. “Working out. What did you think?” He paused. “Bad girl! Is that what you’re thinking? I’m not jerking off. I’m running on a treadmill because I can’t run outside.” He huffed another couple of breaths. “But I saw it was you and I answered. Just got on, though. Be done in time to take you out. Or stay in. Whatever you want.”

“Is it hard for you to go out?” Rey held her phone tightly.

“Yeah, but if you want to, we shall.”

“Do you like homemade food?”

She heard Adam suck in a long breath and huff it out. “I like all food. What’s up, doll? You want to cook? Or you want me to do it? I’m not that great at it, but I can make you eggs. And cereal. I was trying meatloaf but…”

Rey had to interrupt him. “I have homemade lasagna and salad. Crusty bread.”

“I’ll bring the wine,” Adam said. “I don’t drink, but you can have it.”

***

Adam Sackler knocked on Rey’s door. He blew in like a giant whirlwind with a bottle under his arm. “I should have brought myself something, shit,” he said. He hugged her with one arm and laid a smacking kiss on her lips. “Mmmm,” he said.

He walked into her little apartment with its living room and kitchen combo and a bedroom and bathroom tucked down the hall. He plopped the wine down on the small dining table and sniffed appreciatively. “Something smells great, doll. Lasagna. I’m fucking starved.”

Rey dished up the food while Adam made himself at home. He found the corkscrew, opened the bottle, grabbed a wine glass, and poured Rey some wine. He dug a sparkling water out of her fridge, looked it over, and opened it for himself. They sat together comfortably and ate their repast. Adam ate like he hadn’t seen food in weeks. He proclaimed everything delicious and seemed to enjoy every bite of his second helpings. Adam was also interested in Rey’s apartment. He told her he was fond of little tucked-away nooks like hers. He said he had lived in similar apartments for most of his time in the city. It was only in the last two years that he’d finally had enough steady income to afford a larger place.

“I feel most at home in these kinds of apartments, though,” he said, looking around. “Comfy, cozy little places with a lot of character. Mine was a mess most of the time because I did woodworking in it when I was a carpenter.”

Rey smiled. Adam might be a rising star, but he didn’t always act like one. He was a big, sweet, cluelessly neurodiverse guy, trying to do his best in a neurotypical world. Even though he didn’t want to face his diversity, it was there, shining out of his very pores. Rey knew actors and some other groups didn’t like to lay claim to possible brain differences. It was too bad that the stigma still existed. There was absolutely nothing wrong with being diverse. She and her brother called it Team Different. It was to be celebrated.

Adam insisted on washing and drying the dishes. He called it his contribution to the dinner. He poured Rey another glass of wine. He grabbed another bottle of water and carried it and Rey’s glass to the coffee table. Rey followed and plopped herself down.

Adam sat next to her, leaned forward to retrieve her glass and his bottle of water. He held his drink up to make a toast.

“Here’s to you, doll, for being you.”

Rey lifted her glass. “Same. Here’s to you, Adam, for being you.”

They clinked glasses and drank.

***

Adam deliberated, then set his water down on the coffee table. He leaned back and looked at Rey. He opened his mouth, then closed it up again. Rey saw his eye twitch slightly.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Well, if I don’t say it, it doesn’t get said,” he said. “Here goes. I would like to make love to you tonight, but I don’t think we should. Because here’s the thing. I learned that girls—uh, women—don’t always like what I like. They are frightened sometimes by me.”

He paused and gazed at Rey. He squinted at her slightly. She raised her eyebrows at him. This was a strange thing to hear.

“I had a girlfriend once, who freaked out because I got drunk and played power games with her. I wasn’t in control of myself. I didn’t stop because I was really pissed off at my ex-girlfriend and mad at life. I said some bad things, and I was an asshole. I still feel bad about it.”

Adam’s gaze held Rey’s. “That was a weird time, but I like different kinds of … things. I thought I should tell you.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m a weirdo. I know that. I really like you and I just want to be honest with you. If you like vanilla sex, I can do it. I like that too. But I want more sometimes. I think I should leave tonight. Then if you don’t want to be with me, it will be okay. Just… you can’t tell anyone. Well, you can. But I wish you wouldn’t.”

Rey couldn’t process all the words Adam flung at her. She gaped at him. He started to get up.

“No, wait.” She touched his arm. “Let me… think.” She turned to see Adam’s resting bitch face expression. He wasn’t going to give away any thoughts. “Uh, you like kinky sex or …?”

“Maybe. I don’t know what to call it. I kind of like playing, uh, roles or scenes, I guess. Sometimes. It is fun with the right person. I don’t have to do it, though.” Adam cast his eyes down and twisted his fingers.

“What did you say to your girlfriend that made her upset?”

Adam cleared his throat. He looked Rey in the eye and lowered his voice. Without any expression, he said, “I told her to get on her knees and crawl to my bedroom.”

A shiver passed through Rey. Adam’s eyes held hers.

“What was her problem?” Rey whispered, not daring to look away.

“It was a power move,” he said. “I was establishing my dominance.”

“Are you a Dom in your relationships?”

Adam shook his head slowly, his eyes never leaving Rey’s. “Not on purpose.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked, softly. “Sometimes it’s fun to play games and establish dominance. Sometimes it’s fun to be told what to do. I don’t think that’s a bad thing for a couple to experiment with. That is, if both parties agree.”

“I didn’t ask,” he said. “And I didn’t stop.” He blew out a breath. “I should go. Think about what you want.” He stood up quickly, bent down, and brushed his lips against Rey’s. “’Night, Rey. Thank you for the dinner.”

Rey followed Adam to the door. “Are you planning to ghost me?”

He turned around and dipped his head to meet her eyes. “Why do you ask? Are you done with me?”

“Why are you answering a question with a question, Adam Sackler?”

He tilted his head up to peer down his nose at Rey. “Why are you?”

“What do you mean?” Rey pressed her lips together to stop her smile from showing.

A smile tugged at Adam’s lips. He touched them with two fingers to cover it. “When will you answer my question?”

“Which question is that?” Rey fired right back.

Adam snorted a small laugh. “What?”

“Who are you talking to?”

“When?” Adam asked, looking around.

“Why are you asking one-word questions?”

“Why won’t you answer them?” Adam was grinning. Then he laughed out loud. He pulled Rey close and kissed her soundly. “Will you think about staying with me one night?”

“Will you tell me to crawl?” Rey stood on tiptoes to kiss those soft lips again. 

Adam leaned down and pressed his lips against Rey’s yet again. He pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck.

“Would you like me to?”

“Hmmm,” Rey said. She forgot about the game when Adam picked her up and held her against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he pushed her up against the wall. His lips found hers and nudged them open. His tongue moved inside her mouth. She sucked it in and devoured him. She dug her hands in his soft hair and slanted her mouth across his. They kissed fiercely until Adam came up for air. He took a breath and looked into Rey’s passion-filled eyes.

“Is this going to be a problem for you?”

“Doubt it very much.”

Adam smiled broadly, showing his dimples. Rey felt a rush of pure desire. He was so handsome. “All right,” he said, setting Rey on her feet. Then he left, whistling to himself.

***

“Come back to work.” Dirk Waters was on the phone a couple of days later, offering Rey a job. A real job. With an actual salary. She could stop online tutoring and proofreading resumes for peanuts and draw a real salary. “With benefits,” Dirk said.

It was oh-so-tempting. Rey had bills and needed the work badly. She had been borrowing from her brother, who was making more money as a poet than she as a would-be podcast producer. That was ironic. Rey told Dirk she would think it over.

Then she thought of Adam.

Adam had called her the day after their dinner to thank Rey again. They had talked a bit before he asked her to go to a play that was written and directed by a friend of his. They were planning to go that evening, and Rey didn’t know what to tell Adam. She wondered what he would think of Dirk’s offer. She wondered what he would think if she accepted it.

Rey talked to Pat about her dilemma over lunch. Pat was an excellent writer, who had been hired as an artist-in-residence at the prestigious Walker program at City University. They literally paid him to write and publish his work. He brought his notebook with him to show Rey his latest poems. 

When the salads and sandwiches arrived, Rey told Pat about Dirk’s job offer. He ate and listened in silence. He was a good listener when he was eating because he focused on his food and left other thoughts behind. When Pat wasn’t eating, it could be hard to wrest his attention away from the landscape in his head. Rey took full advantage of the opportunity.

After she explained the situation, Pat finished chewing and took a drink of his water. “Your Supreme Leader of Skykiller will be mad at you, Rey.”

“Oh, that’s just a part he plays,” Rey said.

“Yes, I know that. I do know the difference between reality and fiction. I was making a joke.”

“Oh,” said Rey, feeling dumb.

Pat smiled at her a little. “But I do think he would be mad. You said he walked out of the interview because Dirk was being an asshole. Why would you go back and work for that guy when he fucked with your boyfriend?”

Rey sighed. “A. Because I need the money and the line on my resume. B. Because Adam Sackler is not my boyfriend.”

“Well, la-dee-da for you,” Pat said. “I say don’t do it. That’s it.”

“Well, all right,” Rey countered. “But I think I have to do it.”

“Okay, do it. But don’t come crying to me when the Sackler shit hits and he has fits. Also, I have to say something about poetry.”

Rey smiled. Pat was done talking about her and her problems. “What?”

He sighed. “They want me to do a reading. A public one.”

“Oh no.” They’d been through this before. Pat had stage fright when it came to reading his poetry out loud for people. He froze up. Rey offered to read but usually whoever was in charge wanted Pat to do it himself, not his sister. “When?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can you find out instead of hiding?” Rey knew full well that Pat would pretend not to know the date or conveniently put it out of his mind. If he didn’t like something, it didn’t exist. That mentality had gotten him in trouble before.

“Sure.” Pat slid his eyes away from hers. She might have to see if she could figure it out for him. It looked like he was really freaked out, enough to ignore the situation until it was too late.

“Okay,” Rey asked, “What are you going to do to handle the situation? Do you have a plan?”

Pat rolled his eyes. He may have been older than Rey, but she didn’t act like a little sister. “How come I have your voice in my head about this stuff? I wish it would just be quiet sometimes.”

“Is that a yes on the plan?”

Pat opened his notebook and handed it to Rey. In his neat, precise writing, Pat had written down a flowchart of what to do if this or that happened before and during his reading.

“I still don’t want to do it,” Pat said, when Rey handed the notebook back.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to work for Dirk, either.”

***

On the evening they were to attend the play, Adam arrived on Rey’s doorstep to pick her up way too early. She opened her door with a mascara wand in her hand, thinking it was her neighbor who sometimes dropped by with stray mail. But, no, it was Adam, jiggling his hand and waiting for her to answer. His hair was combed but fluffy, like he’d just washed it. He shook his head and raked his hand through it to push it back a bit on his forehead. The hair had a mind of its own and flopped back down to rest by his brows. 

“Shit, I was going to get it cut and I forgot to,” he said.

“Hello,” Rey said. “You are a bit early. Were you out getting your hair cut and came here instead?”

“Ha-ha.” Adam stepped forward and pulled Rey close to him. She held the mascara out from her body as he dipped his head for a kiss.

“What’s this?” He caught her wrist and looked at the mascara. “You don’t need this shit. You look pretty without it.”

Rey laughed. “How do you know? You’ve only seen me with it on.”

He inspected her face. She had one eye with mascara, the other without. Adam tipped his head sideways. “Looks the same to me, doll.”

Adam prowled while Rey finished up her other eye. She stood in front of the mirror to put some lipstick on. Adam stood behind her, watching intently. “I’m just going to kiss that all off.”

Rey turned. “I think I need some color on my face. That’s why I put it on.”

Adam snagged the tube out of her hand. He stepped forward and placed his large hand on her neck with his thumb near her ear. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers, opening his mouth and licking her lips. She tangled her tongue with his. He nipped at her lips gently with his teeth. He gathered her closer to him to eat her mouth, thrusting his tongue deep inside. Then he nuzzled her lips, rubbing his soft mustache over them, while teasing with his tongue. She moaned low in her throat and stood on tiptoe to wind her arms around his neck. He slid his hand down her back to snuggle her up against him tightly.

Adam slowly removed his lips from Rey’s. She felt drunk with desire.

He turned her around to face the mirror. “Look,” he said.

Rey’s face was lit with passion, her eyes looked dreamy, her cheeks pink, and her lips swollen, moist, and red from Adam’s kisses.

She looked into his warm whiskey-brown eyes in the mirror. “Oh.”

“I will redden your lips anytime. My kisses are all you need.” He kissed the edge of her ear, then down her neck. He took a nip out of her shoulder.

“Do we have time?” Rey asked, a little breathlessly.

Adam smiled into her neck and licked up to her ear. He bit it, watched her eyes in the mirror. “No,” he replied. “I am not that early. Besides, you need to wait. It’s sweeter when you have to wait. No quickies tonight. It’s going to be long and slow between us.”

Rey thought she might melt. She felt her cunt getting moist, widening out, swelling with passion at Adam’s softly delivered, dangerous, delicious words.

He was watching her in the mirror, nose against her hair. His large hands moved around her to touch her belly. He moved them up first over her dress to cup her breasts. His thumbs moved up and down on her nipples, making them hard. Rey made a noise she’d never heard herself make before. A kind of strangled moan as his long fingers plucked the hard nipples.

Then, Rey caught her breath as Adam moved his hands downward, slowly back over her belly, down further. He unbuttoned one, two, then three buttons holding her flowered dress closed. His eyes met hers in the mirror and he smiled a little. He held the dress open with one hand and the other brushed the front of Rey’s skin-tight leggings to rest at the apex of her thighs.

That strangled moan was torn from Rey’s lips again. One long finger slid between her legs to be pulled upward through her covered cunt to the exact spot she needed him to touch. How the fuck did he know where her clit was? But he did. He circled it gently with one finger as Rey almost lost her footing.

She moaned his name.

“Yes?” His lips were next to her ear.

“I need it,” she gasped.

“I know,” he said, fake regret thick in his voice. “But your Daddy says you have to wait, baby doll.”

Rey closed her eyes in frustration as Adam pulled his hand away from her clit. She growled and turned on him. “Is this a game?” She wanted to strip her clothes off, yank Adam down, and shove his face between her legs.

He grinned. “Yeah, doll. Like it?”

Rey growled in frustration. “I’m supposed to sit all night wet and unsatisfied?”

“Yep. But when you come—and you will come many times later—it will be mind-blowing.”

She looked at him with suspicious eyes.

“It’s the same for me,” he said. He took Rey’s hand and put it against his dick. It was hard as hell. Rey rubbed her hand against his thick bulge. She enjoyed listening to him grunt and suck his breath in.

“Same for me. I’m dying to bury my dick in you, doll,” he said, resting his forehead on hers. “Understand me?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “As long as we can do it later. I need it.” She paused and looked directly into his eyes. “I need it, Daddy.”

“So do I, baby doll,” he whispered and kissed her deeply.

They parted slowly, rising from the depths of unsatisfied desire. They stood breathing hard, touching foreheads, trying to wind down.

Then, Adam took Rey’s hand and they left her apartment for the theater.

***

The play was thoroughly enjoyable. Adam’s friend, Noah, wrote sparkling, intelligent dialogue, and the actors had excellent timing and wit. Rey forgot her wet panties and steaming lust for a while, holding Adam’s hand, twining her small fingers in his thick ones. They went backstage afterwards to congratulate Noah and his wife Greta, who had played the lead character.

Noah looked in Adam’s eyes after the introductions. He patted him on the shoulder. “Sorry to hear about that Dirk Waters interview. He’s a dick. Did you get a cease and desist order filed?”

Adam nodded. “Yep. He’s trying to sue for breach of contract, but that won’t get him very far. I have more resources and lawyers than he does.”

“Well, he’s trying to do a smear campaign, giving interviews to the press about the whole situation. Shitposting on socials. Just be careful, will you?”

“I’m always careful,” Adam said, with a distracted air, his eyes roving around the room.

Rey would bet that Adam hadn’t really processed the idea of a smear campaign. She wondered if Lily knew about it and would protect him.

***

Finally, Adam gave Rey a smoking hot look and said he was ready to go. She was more than ready.

They jumped back into his secure SUV with his driver, Mike, and headed away from the theater.

“My place,” Adam instructed Mike.

“Really?” Rey whispered into his ear. “My panties have been soaked all evening and you’re taking me to your place. I’m going to need some new underwear.”

Adam put his lips near Rey’s ear. “You’re not going to need any panties where we’re going. I’m keeping you in my bed for three days at least. That’s just the kind of mood I’m in.”

Rey shivered a little and her cunt throbbed. She was getting wet and swollen all over again. She thought about Adam’s lips and his thick fingers and the big bulge she’d felt in his pants. She was flushed with passion.

Adam kissed her hair and nipped at her ear. His fingers threaded with hers and he squeezed them gently.

She looked into Adam’s eyes for a long moment. They held sexy promises, and he leaned in and stole a soft, soft kiss from her lips. Then he smiled, full on, dimples showing, and Rey tumbled straight into his arms. Their lips locked and Rey kissed Adam like a starving creature with a taste for him and only him.

***

When they arrived at Adam’s brownstone, Rey slid out of the car with flushed cheeks and tousled hair. She could not believe she’d been making out with Adam Sackler in a backseat while someone else drove and pretended to ignore them. Maybe this was standard for Adam Sackler. Rey pushed that thought away and climbed the steps of the beautiful building in front of her.

They entered and walked past a security counter, with a guard who buzzed them into the main part of the building. Adam pressed the button for the elevator, and they stood waiting, Adam tapping a finger on the back of Rey’s hand. They got on the elevator. It seemed slow. Neither spoke as it crawled upward. Finally, it opened into a hallway. Adam pulled Rey down the hall to a doorway, fitted his key into the lock, swiped a card on a security scanner, and opened the door. Inside was a foyer with a bench, pegs for coats, and a place for shoes. Adam divested himself of his shoes; Rey did the same. The carpet was thick and luxurious under her feet.

Adam shut the door, locked it deliberately, then pulled Rey toward him. He swept her up in his arms. She gasped and wound her arms around his neck.

“Bed now,” he said, carrying her through the rooms. “Tour later.”

“Are you all wound up, my sweet Daddy-Man?” Rey said, giggling.

“Yes, baby doll, I am. And we’re going to finish what we started.” He dropped her on the bed and stripped off his shirt in a frenzy.

Rey unbuttoned her dress from top to bottom slowly, watching Adam’s eyes darken as she slipped the buttons through their buttonholes. Finally, she opened the dress and let it drop behind her. She had a purple bra and the tight black leggings on.

Adam groaned and knelt in front of her on the floor. He buried his face in her chest, pulling the bra straps off with his teeth. Rey laughed as he savagely growled and yanked at her bra. Then she stopped laughing when he took her nipple in his hot mouth and suckled her hard, swirling his tongue around it. She pushed her hands in his hair and raked her fingers through the silky strands as he moved between her breasts, catching one nipple, then the other, until she felt crazy with desire.

Adam popped Rey’s bra off completely and tossed it aside. He pulled her dress out from under her, too.

“I am going to make you so wet,” he said, staring into Rey’s eyes. “You’re going to come many times. We don’t want to ruin this pretty dress with your sweet cunt juice, little girl.”

Rey breathed in at the sound of his dirty words. “Yes,” she said. “I am ready.”

“Take all that shit off, then. Get on your knees.” His voice was low and commanding.

“No vanilla,” Rey said.

Adam slowly shook his head. “Take your clothes off,” he said, stressing each word. “Now.”

Heat rose in Rey’s face. She did as she was told, pulling her leggings off.

“Stop,” Adam commanded. “Leave those on.” He pointed to her panties. “On your knees.”

Rey got on her knees, though they were weak. Adam got behind her and smacked her once on her upturned bottom. She moaned a little. He leaned in to put his mouth against her wet panties. She moaned again. He tongued her through the material.

“You’ve been so wet all night,” he said. “I can taste you.”

“Yes,” she sighed.

He ripped the underwear down in a swift, sure motion. Rey sucked in a breath as the cool air hit her.

“Oh,” Adam said and pressed his mouth against her dripping core. Rey fell forward a little as he ravaged her with his lips and tongue. He sucked her lips into his mouth and ate with pleasure. Rey groaned and tried to move him. Adam was missing her clit entirely.

“Please,” she gasped. “Let me show you.”

He chuckled against her. “I know where it is, you little bad girl.” He rolled her over and pulled her panties down and off. He pushed Rey’s legs far apart and buried his face between her legs again. This time, he hit the mark, but it was his nose bumping her clit. It was almost good enough. She dug her hands into his hair and tried to pull him up a bit.

“Adam,” she cried. “Adam.”

“Yes, yes. I’m going to give it to you,” he mumbled against her. Then he slipped his tongue out and swirled her clit, sucking it in, circling it gently, then licking it a little harder. Rey fell apart with a scream. Her body bucked and Adam’s strong arms held her in place while she rode the orgasm hot and hard. She had never felt anything like that before.

Adam licked up Rey’s juices, making sounds of satisfaction and pleasure as he did so. Rey tried to get him to stop. He brushed her off and moved his mouth upward to flick her clit again. She cried out and ran her hands over his head, pushing him away. She was so sensitive. He held on, pleasuring her with small, light licks until she could handle more. Before she knew it, she tumbled over the edge again with another deep, sweet orgasm.

Rey lay flushed with satisfaction. Adam crawled up next to her to watch her eyes. After she caught her breath, she reached out for him.

“Pants off,” she said, giving him a stern look. “Let’s go. Let’s see what this is all about.”

“All about you, doll,” he said. But he stripped off his pants and underwear.

Rey’s eyes widened when she saw him. “Well, you are a big man, aren’t you?”

Adam crawled up on her, nudging her hand with his dick. “Yes, I am. I need to put this thing someplace warm and wet, doll.”

Rey palmed him. “Mouth or …”

“Cunt,” he groaned, as she stroked him. “I need to be in your cunt, baby. I will let you suck my dick later.”

“It would be my pleasure. Fuck me. Do it now. Do it hard.”

“I will. I will,” Adam said, positioning himself over top of Rey. “Wait, I forgot. Hold on.” He jumped up and got a condom. He ripped it open and rolled it on.

Rey opened her arms to Adam, and he settled between her legs.

“Hard, fast,” he said, pushing himself inside her. “Yes, I can do that for you. Yes, I can.” He groaned as he pushed to the hilt. Rey wrapped her legs around him.

Adam set a pounding rhythm, hips rolling as he thrust into her. Rey rolled her head back and cried out in pleasure. He was bumping her in all the right spots, inside and out. Her breasts bounced and she opened her legs wider to allow him more access.

Adam thrust harder. Rey slid a finger between her legs to help get herself off. Adam pulled himself out and buried his face between her legs to lick her again. She got so close she could almost feel the flush of orgasm roll over her. Adam stopped licking. Rey yanked his hair, trying to pull him back. He swatted her hands and climbed on her again. He pushed his dick back inside and circled her clit with his large thumb. She cried out loudly when she came again. She groaned his name and ran her nails down his back to his tight ass to push him inside even more. With the combination of thrusts and the waves of her orgasm, Rey felt she might black out completely. A few strokes later and Adam groaned his own satisfaction. Her name was on his lips.

Rey stroked Adam’s soft hair, as he lay half on top of her, and half on his side. They were both breathing hard.

He disposed of the condom and padded back to gather Rey up in his arms. She listened to Adam’s heartbeat and felt at peace.

Adam insisted Rey stay with him all night. She didn’t mind. She was happy to sleep next to a snoring giraffe of a man, whose limbs spread all over bed as he searched for Rey’s warmth. When he found her, he snuggled close to her and, with a contented sigh, fell asleep again. She smiled to herself.

Rey woke up the next morning to find Adam’s head and hair on her pillow and him all over the bed. She pulled herself out from under his heavy limbs and he mumbled a little in the pillow. She found his t-shirt from last night and tossed it over her head. She didn’t relish the idea of putting those panties back on, so she just padded to the bathroom wearing just the shirt. It hung almost to her knees.

After washing up, Rey looked around at the luxurious apartment. It was well appointed with expensive, tasteful furniture. Everything looked well-made and sturdy, masculine—perfect for a former carpenter who appreciated form and function. In the kitchen, Rey found coffee and put on a pot, while she looked at her phone. It was almost dead because she hadn’t plugged it in overnight. But there were two messages. One from Pat and the other from Dirk.

Before she got a chance to read them, a giant roar resounded from the other room. 

“Where the fuck is my woman!” A wild-haired creature tore out of the bedroom and stopped to look around. 

Rey giggled. 

Adam looked a lot like the dark prince, Kylo Ren, with an intense stare and those signature slow stalking moves. He was coming for her, with teeth bared, eyes glinting with passion.

“You,” he said, coming toward you. “You!” He roared again and ran at Rey full tilt. She squeaked and backed up. “Where were you? I woke up looking for my woman and she was gone. And here you are, wearing my shirt.”

Rey stepped up and tilted her chin. “I own you. You are mine, now. I claim your shirt as my tribute. You are my snoring giraffe.”

“Ah ha!” he said. He pulled her close as if to dance a tango, one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand up. “I am your giraffe.” He waltzed her around the kitchen, thighs pressed against hers. “I am hungry as a giraffe and missing your sweet little body in my bed. Let’s explore what you have under my shirt. Shall we?” He dropped her hand and slipped his massive paws under the shirt to find Rey bare. He groaned and leaned down to kiss her. “Time for breakfast,” he whispered and picked Rey up. He plopped her bottom on the kitchen table, knelt, and buried his lips between her legs. Rey rolled backwards on her elbows and let Adam drive her into a frenzy with his tongue. He stopped when she was ready to come. He stood up, pulled his hard dick out of his sweats, and pushed it into her.

“All right without one? Without a condom?” he panted. “I guess I should have asked first. Pull out?”

“No, it’s okay, it’s fine, just do it,” Rey gasped.

“Do it all the way?”

“Yes,” Rey started to move her hips to draw Adam in further. He groaned and obliged.

Rey found the rhythm that helped her, and Adam used his thumb to push her over the edge with his dick buried in her. He was half-crouching to fuck her.

“Couch,” he said. He picked Rey up and carried her to the couch, still inside her. He laid her down and knelt on the couch.

“Fuck me,” Rey said. “Do it.”

“Yes,” Adam groaned. He pushed into Rey hard and fast. She wrapped her arms around him to draw him closer. He panted in her ear. “You fuck me so good, so good, baby doll.” She grasped his ass and he moaned loudly as he came.

Rey forgot all about her pending calls as Adam made her breakfast. He was a genius with eggs, even though he claimed he couldn’t cook. He added melted butter, cheese, and minced veggies to create a super-omelet that he and Rey enjoyed with coffee and toast. 

Rey’s phone had died, so by the time she left Adam to his online meeting with Lily and got home, she had missed another two or three calls.

Dirk had called again, wanting to know if Rey would answer him about the job. Pat called to tell her the date of his poetry reading. Rey sighed. She wanted nothing more than to hide in Adam’s arms again.

Rey looked through the bills that had arrived in the mail. She texted Dirk a one-word message: “Yes.” She would deal with Adam later.

Rey called Pat and found out the date of his reading. His anxiety seemed to be under control. He talked about his plan for handling his anxiety with confidence.

***

Rey spent another night at Adam’s luxury apartment, this time with a change of clothes. Adam grilled thick steaks with button mushrooms and red peppers, wielding his spatula like a professional. Rey made salads from fresh greens she found in Adam’s fridge. Adam did not want alcohol in his house, so Rey drank sparkling water with him. After dinner, after Adam and Rey lay in bed together, he told her he had to leave the city soon to finish his promotional tour. He asked her what her plans were. She had already told him about needing a job, and Adam Sackler had not forgotten that statement.

Rey hedged. “Pat is prepping for his poetry reading. Right now, I’m helping him with that.” She had nothing to do but check the time and location and make sure Pat would get there with his manuscript. It wasn’t much.

Adam watched her speak. Rey was uncomfortably aware that he was a smart man with the ability to see through lies and subterfuge.

“I’m doing fine otherwise,” Rey babbled under Adam’s stare. He was making her nervous as fuck.

“And you are doing what to make some money? Relying on Pat?”

Rey got defensive. Why did he need to know? “I’m doing what I always do, Adam. I’m working a number of jobs to make ends meet, just like I did with my internship. What do you care?”

Adam raised up on an elbow. “But you didn’t finish your internship. You said it might lead to a job as a producer in radio or podcasts or something like that. What’s happening with your career?”

Rey sucked in a breath. “Hey, I got fired.” She didn’t want to add “because of you,” but it was true.

He was smart enough to read between the lines. “I realize that, and I know I am the cause of it. That’s why I’m asking. I don’t want to leave you here in the city with no income and no prospects. I will be back soon, but then we’re looking at award season, more traveling, and another movie role coming up. I am always in and out. I need to know if you will be all right.”

“I am fine, Adam,” Rey said, a little sharply.

He gazed at her for a moment. “Do not get snippy with me, Rey Jackson,” he said. “Just don’t. If you need a job… or financial help….”

Rey closed her eyes and held up her hand. “Adam, no. Don’t even suggest that. I will not ever take either one from you. I am not your kept woman.”

She got up and stomped off to the bathroom. She shut the door and tried to think. Should she tell him about the job offer and her acceptance? Should she not?

Adam knocked on the door. “Rey, open this door. Now.”

“I am in the bathroom,” she called. “I don’t need help going potty.”

She heard him huff outside the door. He lurked there. She could feel him breathing on the other side.

“Adam, for fuck’s sake, a little privacy, please.”

He smacked the door with a hand. She heard him walk away.

Rey muttered to herself, “I am not a chicken. I am not afraid of Adam fucking Sackler. Truth is better than lying.” 

Rey opened the door and stepped into Adam’s big body. She bounced off. His eyes were dark, and he was annoyed.

“What the fuck?” Rey asked.

“I’d like to ask you that question as well. You’re giving me bullshit answers.”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Rey said and stalked around Adam. She started putting her clothes on.

“Oh, so you are just going to leave?” he asked. “Not talk to me, maybe ghost me while I’m gone?”

Rey turned and pointed a finger at him. “I’m not a coward. I am getting dressed because I would prefer to be clothed when I discuss my life with a giant… creature such as yourself.”

Adam relaxed a little. She saw his shoulders drop. He was still naked. He put his hands on his hips and stood glowering at her.

“What are your plans?”

Rey sighed. “All right, look. Dirk called me and wants me to come back. He wants to pay me this time. He said he was sorry.”

Adam’s brows rose. “Oh, really? He’s sorry about what? Firing you? But not about breaking his contract with me, I’m sure.”

Rey pressed her lips together. “Probably not. He’s done that shit before to other guests. He thinks it’s a cool move.”

“Well, good, so that’s the kind of job you want? That’s the kind of person you want to learn from?”

Rey was dumbfounded. Had this man never been poor? No, she knew he had lived in a dump, trying to build things, trying to be an actor, living off his grandmother’s money. Now, he was going to come at her for doing the same, taking any jobs she could get, and receiving help from Pat?

Rey lost it. “You think it’s easy? Have you forgotten what it’s like to not have money, to not be able to choose what to do?”

Adam sucked in a breath. “I have not,” he growled. He took a step toward Rey. “But integrity has always been important to me.”

“And not to me. Is that what you think? I have no integrity because I was working for that idiot Dirk Waters in the first place. And now I’m going back to work for him again. I said yes.”

Adam looked away. He grabbed his sweatpants, sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled them on. He snapped his fingers and bumped them on the side of his leg a couple of times.

Rey felt herself crumble inside. She stared at Adam with tears in her eyes. “I have to eat, Adam.”

“You don’t have to work for Dirk Waters,” he said, softly. “You don’t.” Adam jumped up quickly and walked over to the dresser. He picked up his phone.

Rey said, “No, don’t get me a job.” She walked over to him to take his arm. He pulled her into a sideways hug and buried his face in her hair.

“I’m not,” Adam said. “I know you won’t fucking let me. But I have an idea. I need to check something out.”

“What?”

He scrolled through his screen. “Look, I don’t question your integrity, doll. I question your judgment in wanting to go back to work for that asshole. But I don’t think you lack integrity.” He pressed a contact, listened to it ring, and spoke into the phone. “Yeah, it’s me. I need you to do something for me. I’m going to text you a question or two.” Then he paused. “Okay, get back to me when you can.”

Rey was livid. “I lack judgment? You lack brains. Why would you say that to me?” She flew at him with claws extended.

He caught her. “What is your problem? I said I question your judgment. Not that you lack it.”

“Same thing,” Rey struggled, and Adam let her go.

“It is not the same thing,” he bellowed. “I also think Waters might be playing you to get to me. Will you calm the fuck down?”

“No,” she shouted. “Don’t you dare question me. Don’t you dare come at me with your status and your money and your fucking integrity.”

“Fine,” he shouted. “That’s perfect. I’ll just let you go on in ignorant bliss and work for that fucking asshole.”

“Fine,” Rey shouted back. “Back the hell off me or else…”

Adam’s phone rang. “What?” he snapped.

Rey rolled her eyes. “Be nice.”

“No,” he said to her, then turned her attention to the call. “Yeah, I thought that might be the case. All right. Thank you very much.”

Rey huffed and sat down on the bed. Adam sat next to her. “It is my opinion that Dirk Waters wants to hire you to pump you for information about me.”

She stared at him. “Why?”

“He knows we’re together.”

“How?”

Adam held up his phone. On it, there was a picture of them together taken by the Paparazzi and published on the gossip site TMZ. The headline named Rey as an intern for the Dirk Waters podcast. The article discussed Adam’s walkout, Rey’s involvement, and then speculated about their blossoming relationship.

“Fuck,” Rey said.

“I’m not an asshole, Rey,” Adam said. “No, scratch that. I am an asshole. But I am trying to protect you and myself, if you don’t fucking mind.”

“I do fucking mind when you make comments about me and my life.”

“Get the fuck over it.” He put his nose on hers. Then he grinned at her in a most disarming fashion.

“I’m serious, Adam,” she said, pulling away. “Please. I’m doing the best that I can, and I feel judged.”

Adam’s smile faded. “All right, Rey. I guess that’s fair. You didn’t judge me when I walked out of the podcast.”

Rey looked into Adam’s eyes. “No, I didn’t.” She touched his face with her hand. “All right. I won’t take the job. I will find something else. It was a very tempting offer.”

Adam leaned over to kiss Rey lightly. “Now you know why. Please, doll, let me help you. I don’t have to give you cash or a job, but let me look out for you, like I just did. I can do that much at least. I have access to resources you don’t.”

Rey leaned into him. “It’s nice having a neurodiverse person look out for me.”

“I’m not neurodiverse,” Adam said.

“Okay,” Rey said. She didn’t want to argue with Adam anymore.

Dirk Waters called Rey the very next day, before she had a chance to call him.

“Come on in and sign the paperwork, Rey. How about you start right away?”

Rey pulled up Dirk’s latest tweet about Adam Sackler. It read, “Sackler must be neurodiverse. He’s a nervous nellie and his girlfriend soothes him.” There was a photo of Rey leaving Adam’s apartment building in the morning after she’d spent the night. A follow-up tweet showed a picture of Pat and Rey, with the note that Pat was a neurodiverse poet-in-residence. Dirk had added, “Rey has all the experience she needs to help her new boyfriend with his mental health problems.”

Rey snorted into the phone. “Well, Dirk, I don’t think that will be necessary. I’m looking at your tweets here, and you know what? I don’t care if you put my face on your timeline until Armageddon. But you will stop smearing Adam, and you will definitely not bring my brother into this campaign. You’re already being sued by Adam. Would you like another lawsuit for defamation from my family?”

“Ha.” Dirk had no shame. “You couldn’t make that stick. I know for a fact you are poor as fuck and haven’t the ability or resources to do shit to me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Rey said. “Cut it out. And, no, I’m not going to work for you. In fact, you’ll be lucky if I don’t shut your fucking podcast down, asshole. You feel like being cancelled? Keep it up.” Rey hung up on Dirk’s spluttering.

She called Adam and told him what she’d found on Dirk’s feed. “Yeah, we’re going to need to lawyer up some more.”

“On it,” Adam said. “The guy better shut the fuck up or I’m going to end up in jail. Because I’m going to fucking kill him myself.”

“Do not say that out loud ever again on a cell phone. Maybe I’m paranoid but…”

Adam growled. “No, you are right. The creeps are listening. Damn. I’m just pissed as fuck that this guy gets to do whatever he wants and all I’ve got is a lawyer to fight with. I want to bust something.”

“Dirk’s face?” Rey smiled into the phone.

“Don’t say that on the phone, doll, or we’ll both be doing time in the joint. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Adam yelled an inarticulate growl of frustration.

“Well, at least you’re not dealing with Pat all day, too,” Rey said. “Are you still sneaking into the reading with me tonight?”

“Yes, I am. Then dinner after with Pat?”

“You bet. Look, I may have my hands full. He’s kind of jumpy.”

“Can I come early then and help you? I’m good at stage fright. I have it bad sometimes, too. I can share my process.”

Rey was delighted. “Sure! That would be great, Adam. I know Pat would appreciate it. What’s your process?”

“Sheer, unadulterated terror.” Adam laughed.

“Ack, don’t tell him that!” Rey said.

“Oh, all right,” Adam agreed. “But it’s the truth.”

***

Pat paced the floor of the classroom he was hiding in at the university. He was waiting to be called onstage. Rey watched. “Are you breathing?” she asked.

“What?” Pat turned to her, wild-eyed. “No. I mean, yes. I have to breathe, Rey, or I will die.”

There was a knock on the door. Pat jumped a mile.

“It’s probably just Adam,” Rey said. She opened the door to find Adam in a hoodie with the hood pulled up as far as it would go. She pulled him inside.

“Adam, this is Pat, my brother. Pat, Adam Sackler.”

Adam yanked his hood down and reached out for Pat’s hand. Pat gave it to him briefly.

“My hand is probably sweaty,” Pat said and resumed his pacing. He was also muttering to himself. “Rey, I don’t know where the manuscript is.”

“Right here,” Rey said. She held it up.

Adam gave Rey a quick kiss and nodded toward Pat. She could tell he was asking how Pat was doing. She gave a quick shake of her head. He was not doing well at all.

“Pat,” Adam said. Pat stopped pacing to stare at Adam. “What are you reading tonight?”

“Poetry.” Pat twisted his fingers and snapped them at Rey. She handed him the manuscript. He looked at it like he didn’t know what it was. It fell on the floor. Pat moaned. “But I can’t do it. I can’t, Rey. You have to tell them that I can’t read this out loud to anyone. I don’t want to share it. It’s just bad.”

Adam reached down and picked up the manuscript. “May I?” he asked Pat.

“I don’t know,” Pat said. He sounded like he was going to cry. Rey put her arm around him.

“If you’ll let me look, I can try reading them out loud to you. You can hear what everyone else will hear,” Adam said, holding the book open with one finger.

Pat said, “All right.”

Adam began to read, slowly, evenly. His rich voice found the beauty and rhythm of the words. His reading gave the poems life. The words sounded like music and dance, breath and movement and wonder. Rey had never heard Pat’s poems sing like that before.

After the second poem, Pat began to calm down. His breathing slowed, his eyes cleared, and he seemed steadier.

“They sound good, Adam,” he said. “They sound like real poems when you read them.”

Adam smiled at Pat and handed him the manuscript. “These are great. They are real poems written by a real poet. I can’t wait to hear the rest of them, man. You write amazing pieces—that are meant to be read out loud.”

“Will you read them?” Pat asked. “For me?”

“I will read them for you and Rey some other time,” Adam said. “I am not allowed to do it here for a public performance. My agent would skin me and sell it on eBay.”

Pat burst out laughing. “I’d buy it for you. Give it back to you.”

“Very kind of you, Pat. I’ll keep that in mind, I will.”

Rey shook her head at the exchange. “All right, Pat. I think it’s time. Go read the poems and Adam and I will watch from the wings. He should stay in the back where he’s less visible.”

“Can’t have Kylo Ren being mobbed,” Pat said, cheerfully. “I don’t want that on my conscience.”

Rey opened her mouth.

Pat cut her off. “Oh, it’s a joke, Rey. I know the difference between the movies and reality.” He looked at Adam. “Really, the woman thinks I’m out of it just because I’m neurodiverse. I’m a poet, not an idiot.”

Adam grinned. “She thinks I’m an idiot, too.”

“I do not,” Rey protested. But the two men were exchanging meaningful glances.

***

Pat took deep breaths, got a thumbs-up from Adam, and a hug from Rey before going out to a full house of undergraduates, faculty, and the public. He read without a hitch and received much enthusiastic applause. Rey was so proud, and she squeezed Adam’s hand. He tucked her up next to him for a big hug.

***

After the reading, Pat took a pretty woman by the hand. He led her up to Rey and Adam backstage. “This is Jannah,” he said. “She’s my girlfriend. Let’s take her to dinner with us.”

Rey and Adam exchanged glances. This was new. Rey had never heard of Jannah. But like everything with Pat, sometimes she just had to roll with it.

Rey had reserved the back room at the Torch for the occasion so Adam would be free from curious fans. Pat also appreciated a less-stimulating environment after so much excitement. Rey was just glad to be out of the noise of chit-chatters and well-wishers at the university.

Rey thought Jannah made an excellent addition to the party. She was smart and funny—and clearly neurotypical, like Rey. They smiled at each other over the table.

Pat leaned back in his chair after they ate and chatted. “Thank you, Adam, for helping me. My plan wasn’t working very well for keeping calm. It’s important to have a plan, but sometimes we need a boost.”

Jannah added, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there, Pat.” She looked apologetically at Rey and Adam. “I had a class to teach and couldn’t come any earlier.”

“That’s okay,” Pat said. He smiled at her and put his arm on the back of her chair. “Adam did a great job. Sometimes it’s best when the neurodiverse people help each other.”

Adam opened his mouth, but Pat interrupted. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, and I respect that. But I am very glad to be part of Team Different, as Rey calls it. It means that I have a brain that works creatively. Even if I say I’m shit at poetry and writing, I know that’s not true. It’s just my brain playing tricks. I wouldn’t trade my talent for anything.”

Adam pressed his lips together. He looked at Rey. “Is this an intervention?” he asked, quietly.

Pat leaned forward. “No, it’s not. I don’t care whether you are or aren’t neurodiverse. I don’t care if you want to admit it or not. That’s not for me to say. You do you.” He gazed at Adam. “But if you want to join Team Different, we would be happy to have you.”

Adam pondered that for a few. He stared at Pat, stroking his beard lightly and touching his lips. “What’s the membership fee?” Adam asked, suddenly.

“Admission is free,” Pat said.

“What are the perks?”

Pat shrugged. “Rey will quit bugging you about it. She’ll stop giving you the evil eye.”

“Paterson,” Rey said. “Honestly.”

Adam gave Rey an assessing look. “Yeah, that might be totally worth it.”

Rey smacked him on the arm.

“Do I have to tell anyone?” Adam asked.

Rey swallowed a laugh. Adam snapped his attention to her stifled giggle. “What’s so funny?”

Pat gazed at him steadily. “No, you don’t have to tell anyone.”

“What’s so funny?” Adam asked Pat. “Why is she laughing at me.”

“Well,” Pat said, frowning at Rey, “you don’t have to tell anyone because we already know. It is obvious that you are neurodiverse. You just are. You couldn’t hide it even if you wanted to.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open. “How? What? Why?” He was spluttering.

Pat shrugged at Adam. “It’s in the way you speak, how you stand, what you say, how you walk, how you think, and how you practice your art. Anyone who knows anything about neurotypical and neurodiverse brains would spot it immediately. Other people don’t know or don’t care. They may think there’s something about you that is different or unusual or even strange, but they might not be able to name it.”

Adam stared at Pat, then Jannah, who smiled at him, and finally Rey, who hugged his arm and clasped his hand. “Welcome to Team Different, Adam Sackler. You’re going to love it here,” she said, eyes shining at him.

Rey and Adam went to Adam’s house. He didn’t say one word on the ride home. That was unusual, Rey thought. She found herself feeling a bit nervous about the quiet. Adam was usually chatty.

Once inside, he plopped on the couch. Rey sat next to him and waited. He would talk when he was ready, she figured. She fished out her phone.

“I’m neurodiverse,” he said.

“Yep,” Rey said, still scrolling.

“Hmmm,” he said.

“Hmmm,” Rey said back.

“I love you, Rey,” Adam said. “I’ve been afraid that if I’m neurodiverse, you won’t love me back.”

Rey put down her phone and stared at Adam like he had two heads. “Excuse me? Are you out of your mind?”

Adam looked over with puppy dog eyes. “Well, no. Maybe. How could anyone love a guy who’s as weird as I am? Weird acting, weird looking, weird in bed. Plays weirdos in movies. No one wants a guy like that around.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, save me from the neurodiverse mindset from hell. I love Pat. He’s my brother. I even like Pat. I like to hang out with him, not in spite of his brain, but because of it.” She piled onto Adam’s lap and put her face in his. “I love you, Adam Sackler, not in spite of how you are, but because of who you are.”

Adam’s face lit up and he smiled. “You like weirdos? Creeps?”

Rey shook her head. “You’re not a creep or a weirdo. And I like you, exactly as you are. In fact, I even love you. Did you miss that when I said it? Or are you not paying attention?”

“I’m thinking about being a weirdo and why you like that. I am glad you love me, though, because I love you so much.” He pushed his face into hers and growled a little. “Kiss me.”

Rey grinned and kissed his lips at the same time. “You are ridiculous.”

“And you can’t kiss and smile at the same time. Now kiss me. No smiling.”

“I will never smile again,” Rey said and pressed her lips against his.

***

Epilogue: Six months later.

Rey and Adam stood at the door of the old studio in the building where they first met. Rey had the key in her hand and was jiggling the lock.

“Damn this door,” she said. “It’s stuck.”

Adam put his hand over hers. “Let the neurodiverse carpenter try.” Rey removed her hand as Adam finessed the key in the lock and got it open.

The office furniture and podcast equipment were covered with a light layer of dust. The whole office space had an air of sad neglect. But this was heaven as far as Rey was concerned. Rey was ready to start this new chapter in her professional life. Dirk Waters’ podcasting days were over. He was finished in the Internet world. Adam Sackler had seen to it personally.

Pat and Jannah had written a grant (and begged the university) to fund an ongoing podcast for student writers to showcase their poetry, essays, and short stories. Pat was the main faculty sponsor and Jannah recruited students in her English classes to participate, especially those interested in YouTube or podcasts. Rey produced the shows and found guests for the students to interview on air. Overall, the whole endeavor was slowly gaining a devoted following.

The university also received an anonymous donation, a very generous amount of money, earmarked for the podcast. It was used to buy new equipment and help pay Rey’s salary. Rey had her suspicions about who might be behind that donation, but she didn’t ask, and the donor, who may or may not snore in her bed at night, didn’t tell.

The day after receiving the donation, Rey eyed the man bouncing on his toes in the kitchen, making the best eggs she’d ever tasted. He’d also made her come so hard she swore she passed out for a second. She sighed a little thinking of how much she loved Adam Sackler. He was determined to help her whether she liked it or not. Did it matter that he put money into her project? Did it matter that she could perhaps be called a kept woman? No, it was the same money anyway. Adam’s anonymous gift was a sweet nod to Rey’s wish to be her own woman with her own career. She would just have to get over her qualms—because her husband would not take no for an answer. He would protect her. He would support her. That was fine, though, because Rey Sackler adored her stubborn, weird, neurodiverse husband in all his glory.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. As always, thanks to my beta reader, jgoose13 (fidelisadmortem). Thanks to GrayForceUser for reading as well. Appreciate you.


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